Category — Nonsense

Islanders say it is the fresh salt air. Others insist it was the move to organic diets. Still some speculate that what’s led to the township’s “blanc de blanc” is swapping autos for healthy walks to the post office.

“It’s a record,” declared Colin Sweeney, Guiness’s eastern region adjudicator. “The Highlanders of Achnasheen were 98% white,” Mr. Sweeney explained “Chilmark has hit the bulls-eye at 100% white.”

Thrilled by the news, 88-year-old Pinto Silversun recalled turning white at 29. “It happened faster than Ellsbury stealing home,” said the Islander. “By the time I was forty, I looked like an old broom. But here I am now,” she smiled, “feeling like a million bucks. Go Sox!”

“It’s quite a feat,” Mr. Sweeney observed. “The entire town has grayed completely.” The adjudicator noted that the Worlds Record certificate presentation would be scheduled for after the Derby.

“Well, so we all look alike,” said 10-term selectman Billy Flanders from his office at Beetlebung Corner. “It’s only skin deep.”